5.0 out of 5 stars Could not put it down
Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2024
At first I though this book was addressed only to men. But got curious and decided to peruse a few pages. I could not put it down until I was done. One of the Most striking things about this book was the honesty of the author. LeMay's shortfalls remind us the readers that we all execute poor judgement sometimes, and no one is immune to divorce. Through his eyes and revelation, I was granted a peek into the possibility of the challenges my ex-husband faced in our marriage, and how I may have contributed to some of them. I also identified with his co-author, as I could feel her pain through those pages, because once upon a time, they were also mine. The neglect, the desire to be loved the way my ex-husband once loved me, and not understanding why he changed, why he was no longer the man I married.
The most eye opening and uplifting moments in the book for me is chapter 8 Help mate. God put both male and female here not only for the purpose of reproduction, but so we can also complement each other. And yes sometimes it's as simple as scratching that itch in the part of his back that he is unabke to reach, or him rubbing your feet after a long day of chasing after dementia patients on the geri psych unit. We all need this book, even if you are at the euphoric stage of your marriage. It will serve as a reminder and a guide, as to what is needed to maintain a beautiful and lasting marriage not only in the black family, but in all marriages.
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read
Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2023
For me this publication hit home. Chapter after Chapter it gave me the realization that I wasn't alone in my feelings. For me as a women I know I'm the backbone and it's my job to encourage my mate through think and thin. This publication is the blueprint on a long lasting marriage. If your at a crossroad please do yourself a favor and purchase the book. I promise you'll find the clarity you need.
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly Engaging
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2023
I wasn't sure what to think of the book just at first glance. I'm not married and I didn't think I would be able to relate. But I was completely wrong. The author makes it clear at the start that the book is based off what he's learned from going through divorce. Then he adds in not only his very personal and private stories but also anecdotes and stories from relevant historical, religious, and cultural resources. All of which made for such an engaging and well rounded book. You can feel the regret and heart of the author that has truly reflected on past behaviors and disected them and relived them in order to become a better person for people around him. All the points made are such good advice many of which you can take towards any close relationships not just marriage. I'm glad I read it and I would definitely recommend to anyone facing struggles in their marriage.
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Great book for men & the women who love them!
Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2022
This book should be required reading for men who are struggling to find their way to peace & security within their marriages and within themselves. The author courageously lays himself bare to illustrate the behaviors that will lead you to an emotional and physical divide within your union as well as divorce. The corrective behaviors outlined in this insightful book will assist you in developing a stronger connection with your mate. Each module contains personal reflections aligned with that sections teachings which prove the author is not just talking the talk but has done the work to walk the walk. The book also includes the woman’s perspective on how negative behaviors can impact trust, desire and love for our spouses. This book is a great resource for couples struggling in their marriages or those who want to connect on a deeper level to avoid the struggles. Very enlightening read!
Exceptional, Knowledgeable!
Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2022
Avoiding Divorce: 101. For Black Men. By Michael LeMay, this book is a grabber, and once one begins to read it, it’s not a book; one can stop reading midway and not finish. The author has gained significant knowledge from his personal experience of how divorce affects the family unit negatively, especially the African American family. The main thing that motivated me to read the book in it entirely was the author’s transparency, how he exposed his negative behavior within his marriage and how it caused the destruction of his marriage; I salute Mr. LeMay for being transparent; that’s a massive step as African American black man. The book is an exception reader for those considering remarriage and those singles who have never been married but are in preparation. The title can be a little trickery because it appears that the author’s audience is the black man, but that is misleading because, reading the book, he broke down the importance of the wife’s role in the marriage relationship; it was very captivating. I appreciate the emphasis he placed on the significance of complimenting one’s spouse, making time to connect with one’s spouse daily, spending time together, maintaining open communication, and doing things together as a couple to keep a healthy, vibrant, long-lasting marriage. I would recommend Avoiding Divorce: 101 for Black Men by Michael LeMay. If I had to rate this book, I would rate it a ten.
Reviewed on March 21, 2021
Reading this book demonstrates that the author has and continues to do the WORK! It takes a tremendous amount of courage for one to self-reflect and take accountability/responsibility for their contribution to the breakdown., and he has addressed every area where a breakdown is possible.
Awesome self-help book that would enlighten, provoke thought and ultimately action! Looking in the mirror is difficult, and this book reflects the hurt, pain and wounds divorce brings. Definitely a conduit to healing for our Black men, forcing them to look at themselves, know what accountability and ownership looks like, and take back
Reviewed on December 22, 2020.
Mr. LeMay's book is one of courage - the courage to be transparent and to acknowledge past mistakes along with providing the knowledge of how to avoid the mistakes made in a marriage; his passion for wanting to share the knowledge the creator has given him is undeniable. A must read and a must have in your self-help library. Kudos to Mr. LeMay!
Shirley Angichiodo
Told it like it really is.
Reviewed on July 26, 2020.
Michael, you told it like it really is. No one is a mind reader and when women feel taken for granted we do withdraw. Being in an interracial relationship gave me great insight into what my guy is sometimes thinking. You're honesty about your mistakes, and your truths will be a great value to anyone who reads this book. In these troubling times I felt faith renewed. I think it's a book everyone should read even before you are married so you can follow the good advice on how to stay married. Best of luck to you. Thank you for sharing your life experiences.
Powerful Read
Reviewed on July 28, 2020
With the divorce rate so high this book is right on time! The author shares with the reader how to navigate in a modern day marriage! He is very transparent and shares his own personal experiences with the reader the good, bad, and the ugly!
The title has “Black Men” in it but his life experiences are circumstances we all have experienced at some point in relationships. His love for God and family are apparent throughout the book. I could really relate to the section of the female in the book! This book would be great for a marriage ministry, book club, or family devotion.
You won’t be disappointed!
Do's and don't in a marriage.
Reviewed on June 11, 2020
The author has used his own experiences as teachers, to help others to avoid the mistakes that he made and that is a lot of what goes on in relationships and marriages. Some of those major issues that affect marriages being: Communication, sex, romance, finances just to mention a few. The highlight for me was how he analyzed how your wife should be your help-mate and not your competitor.
Reviewed on July 8, 2020
This is an awesome read a must-have book for an African American male. This book will give him insight on the discussions that women have with each other about what is lacking in our marriages and dating life especially in this day and age. This author hit the nail on the head when it came to how women feel and what we need from the men in our lives. I will be passing this book along to my son.
Reviewed on April 24, 2020
The Author shares his personal experience in hopes to help couples stay married. This novel is great to use in a singles small groups or married couples discussions. If you are preparing to be remarried or married for the first time, the author shares plenty of warning signs to make changes that could lead to a successful lasting marriage. A must read novel.
Reviewed on July 7, 2020
I enjoyed reading this book! Even though the title implies for Black Men, it is not just for men alone. The spotlight is put on the high rate of divorce in the black community, the negative generational effects caused when a marriage is dissolved so quickly; in most cases without adequate council, and the advantages of maintaining the African American family as a unit. The author and co-authors words are succinct and to the point! Each module takes you on a journey and illustrates step by step the affects of divorce, and the economic impact. It also highlights and defines the importance of the women’s role in a marriage (which I could definitely relate to), and the long term effects in maintaining a strong family relationship. A very powerful read!
Reviewed on February 2, 2020
Insightful novel for black men of all ages. Author uses his own life experiences to illustrate theories why some black men potentially behave the way they do. Novel encourages the reader to look deep into their past to understand who they really are and who they want to be, providing the foundation to become more successful in dealing with all life situations.
LeMay lays out the blueprint for marital harmony!
Reviewed on July 4, 2020
As a woman reading this I felt like the proverbial fly on the wall. Michael Le May goes after the roots of the cancer of divorce. I found it both heartbreaking and inspirational. With every word the author reveals his love for the Black family, and his genuine desire to help others avoid the pain that he has experienced. His male point of view is a must read for young Black men. Mr. LeMay gives you the plain talk that so many men need. Avoiding Divorce 101 is a fatherly explanation of what to do when you find your wife. LeMay like a father or brother tells you how to lead your family away from the pitfalls of relationships and divorce.
Reviewed on February 7, 2020
LeMay offers valuable insights from his own experiences and other experts he consulted. Investing a little time in digesting his book could pay huge dividends for many men.